My wise mother used to say… “ birds of a feather flock together” and…
when I would say “ so and so is doing it” she would say “ if So and so jumped off a bridge would you?”
She always had a point but I didn’t understand this fully until I became an adult.
I have made decisions in the past that I’m not proud of because of my surroundings and the friends I chose. I’m not blaming anyone and I take full responsibility for each mistake because It was my insecurities that would leave me making decisions based on what others thought of me.
I will never forget when a dear friend said to me. “ It’s none of your business what others think about you.”
My reaction was a look of surprise I’m sure as I processed this statement.
Let me repeat it she said … “ It’s none of your business what others think about you”
Although it was a statement that left me looking puzzled, it somehow freed me from another’s opinion or hurt.
People-pleasing had taken root in my life for many years and I allowed so much of it in my life that I lost myself in the process.
One day, while driving down the road I heard the Lord speak clearing to me. “Stop trying to please everyone around you!”
I froze at the moment because in my mind I was “helping others.”
It was then I recognized all the things I surrounded myself with were keeping me stuck in a place of uncertainties like… anxiety, discontentment, worry, overthinking, and unfulfilled. We all want to be liked but shame tends to set in when we feel like we haven’t lived up to others’ standards.
The worst part? If I was busy pleasing so many people, how was I able to please my God? Ouch!
Paul says it best…
Galatians 1:10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If people-pleasing more my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.
I’m still a work in progress but… I like to call myself a recovering “People pleaser.”
What about you? Do you struggle with this too?
Stop and ask the Lord to show you where you struggle…
Remember we are called to love not to please others; don’t get them confused.
Listen to them.
Love them.
Honor them.
You can do these things without fixing them with …
A hug.
A listening ear.
A prayer.
An open heart.
Let it be ok with you that not everyone is going to like you. If you love Jesus first it is very likely a few in this world will like you.