There are so many things in life that hold us back from knowing God on a deeper level. For me? It’s fear.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of rejection.
But the one fear that cripples me the most? The fear of not allowing Him to use me for His purpose or what He created me to be.
What if He doesn’t chose me?
If I ignore His calling will He move on to someone else?
To be honest, I think I didn’t want to be inconvenienced. Was it fear or pride? If He chose me would He call me to mission work in Africa? Would I have to adopt a child? Would I have to minister to that needy friend?
I’ve lived with this fear of inconvenience for a long time. But I knew there was more to Jesus.
There is a specific memory etched in my mind. For me journaling has been a time to express my heart to Jesus. One day as I sat down to write I felt the Lord calling me to minister to women. I knew I had a heart and passion for other women who struggled with fear, aniexty, guilt and shame. Why? Because I had walked this Journey only to find out God never intended for any of us to walk. But now he wanted to use it for His glory to set other women free.
I wanted to see other women free from what was binding them from knowing Jesus.
He had gifted me with mercy, compassion and hospitality.
What was holding me back? I knew there was more to Jesus and I wanted it.
But I would have to expose my heart …… hmm. “Beside God I pray for those women isn’t that enough?”
That day I asked Him to remove that wall of fear and I would do whatever he had for me to do.
Yes! I said it ……what.ever.
You see fear was keeping me from freely giving Him my everything. My connivence, my comfort didn’t want to be interrupted.
I wondered how many women go through this? How many women have amazing talents to share but don’t because they they were crippled by fear or anything that kept them from Jesus.
Little did I know if only I had given my full heart to Him he actually would give me something I loved.
This came as a great surprise to me.
He wants to bless us and use us. And the best part we need nothing but a willing heart!
Fear is a liar! See our Heavenly Father loves us so much he wants us have life more abundantly. That day God broke down that wall of fear in me all I had to do is ask him and be willing to see what he wanted from from me.
A life of bringing other women to know him so they don’t have to live with that same wall that would keep them from giving themselves fully. Someday I might go to Africa, someday I might adopt a baby but either way He will give me what I need to carry out those plans. Sure I still fear things at times but my Savior always reminds me of that day. What holds you back? #fearless#purelove#truth#freedom
1 John 4:18 there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.